Ghoulies (dir. Luca Bercovici, 1985)
I’m going to save you some heartbreak. At no point in the film does one of the so-called ‘ghoulies’ ever burst out of a toilet like on the poster. I know, I know. Everyone feels that same disappointment after they watch all eighty-something minutes and find virtually no bathroom related content at all, let alone a rubber puppet sticking out of the porcelain throne.
Don’t worry, though! There are other things to recommend in Ghoulies. I mean, it played on Turner Classic Movies. That’s a definite sign of quality. They don’t show just anything on that channel. You’ve got to be at least as good as Gymkata to make the lineup.
Ghoulies follows the life of college student Jonathan Graves, played by the totally age appropriate actor, a 35 year old named Peter Liapis. He has inherited a mansion from his deceased Satanic cult leader father, Malcolm, who originally meant to sacrifice him to attain the ultimate powers of hell or something, before Jonathan’s mother intervened. Instead, she was killed and Jonathan was taken away by reluctant cultist Wolfgang, played by Eraserhead star, Jack Nance, finally shorn of the worst haircut to ever grace celluloid. Soon enough, Jonathan drops out of college to renovate the mansion and dabble in the dark arts himself, which is likely a better use of time that actually completing that communications degree. Before you know it, he’s hosting dinner parties, summoning ghoulies, and alienating his girlfriend. All of this, of course, is part of a plot to bring Malcolm back to life.
I know, I know, I should have put up a spoiler warning, but as befits any film appearing on TCM, you really should have already seen it by now. Rosebud was Charles Foster Kane’s sled, and Malcolm Graves is manipulating his way back into corporeal form. Also Hamlet dies at the end of the play.
Okay, so it’s not much of a movie. As far as I can tell there are only two notable things about Ghoulies. First, it boasts the debut film appearance of Mariska Hartigay, who you can now see at any given moment of the day as Detective Olivia Benson on Law and Order: SVU. Second, it’s one of the earliest Charles Band productions to feature his trademark of miniature puppets terrorizing people: not just the follow-ups in the Ghoulies saga, but the many, many Puppet Master films.
oliveresque 