Ticks (dir. Tony Randel, 1993)
I’ve rarely been so surprised to discover a film isn’t a comedy than Ticks. Do you know what it’s about? A bunch of teenagers are terrorized by giant killer ticks mutated by chemicals used by a Humboldt County cannabis growing operation. You read that description and you naturally think, “Well, that sounds dumb as hell, but it could have some laughs.” You see who is in the cast–Seth Green, Alfonso Ribeiro, Peter Scolari, and Clint Howard–and it seems all but certain: a mediocre horror comedy is at hand.
But no, instead it’s as serious as a film featuring basketball-sized ticks and the lesser of the Bosom Buddies could possibly be. The dog dies! You can’t have a dog die, not even in a horror comedy! Not only does the dog die, its corpse is graphically mutilated by a tick being torn out of it after a veterinarian drives a syringe into it. Why would you do that, Ticks? I know you’re produced by Brian Yuzna of Society and Re-Animator fame, but that’s a step too far for me, movie!
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