Cobra (dir. George P. Cosmatos, 1986)
Los Angeles is under threat from the Night Slasher, who has killed over a dozen people in December alone. There is no pattern to the murders or choice of victim. Men, women, and children have all been targeted. Who can stop this Christmas slaughter?
Enter writer and star Sylvester Stallone as Lieutenant Marion ‘Cobra’ Cobretti of the LAPD’s Zombie Squad. He cites crime statistics and commits wanton acts of police brutality with wanton abandon. He plays by the rules of no man whether that be the law or the proper way to slice a pizza. He will fling a knife into a suspect and will cut a pie apart with scissors. His only passions in life are aviator sunglasses, leather jackets, his 1950 Ford Mercury, and a bit of the old, legal sanctioned ultraviolence.
While handling a hostage crisis at a supermarket in his characteristic fashion, Cobretti learns that this seemingly random perp is part of a cult called the New World, who are a bunch of Social Darwinist types, but not like Charles Murray or the fellows over at the Cato Institute. These guys prefer ax murder over libertarian social policy. They are led by character actor Brian Thompson and are the ones responsible for the Night Slasher killings. Their latest target is the only surviving witness to one of their murder sprees, a fashion model named Ingrid Knudsen (Bridgette Nielsen) with whom Cobretti begins a romance while having some incredible non-chemistry on screen for two people who were at one point married to each other.
How will Cobretti protect Ingrid from this roving band of psycho killers? By being the biggest psycho killer of them all. Cue the Talking Heads everyone, because Cobretti is a real live wire.
Cobra began improbably as a draft of Beverly Hills Cop, which Stallone then rewrote to better suit his vision of Los Angeles law enforcement. The film it most gets compared to is Dirty Harry due to similarities between Marion Cobretti and Harry Callahan. This isn’t an unfair comparison, but the differences are striking. Harry Callahan is a reactionary figure, but he’s also one of the squarest men imaginable. That’s what makes Don Siegel’s film work. He isn’t particularly admirable or likable. Cobretti on the other hand is meant to be cool, which is embarrassing for everyone involved–the audience, Stallone, the costume designer.
Is Cobra a fascist film? Yeah, probably—more so than even Dirty Harry. Is it also an absurdly entertaining movie about a deranged cop who keeps his pistol cleaning equipment in an egg carton. It is definitely that, too. Does it advertise competing sodas Coca Cola and Pepsi repeatedly? You bet your ass it does.
oliveresque 